Interlude

Some of my readers might know me well, and some maybe not so well or not at all. Whatever the case is, Kienbock's Disease changed me. For the better or the worse, I have no idea.

The last few years with this disease, my outlook on life has become dramatically different. No longer am I an overly optimistic person. I've become pessimistic, sometimes to an extremely annoying point. No longer am I as self-oriented as I was. I am much more giving in my humbling condition. No longer am I as outspoken and driven to attention. I am much more relaxed and subdued ... even quieter. I used to be quite an impatient person and it seems that since the surgeries alone, I've become much more patient and understanding.

I still have my faults, and some of those have become more pronounced with this disease. I acknowledge those, and am working on them. For example, I am quick to anger and irritations. But, I see them more as a challenge now and am surprisingly more adamant to work on them. I was pretty bratty as a teenager, and am still pretty bratty. But, now I can admit to it and find ways to improve.

After all this crap with dead bones, bone sawing, metal plates, scars, pain ... I see myself as someone who can own up to their shortcomings and faults. I take the extra strides to be a better person, a better wife, a better sister and daughter, a better friend. I can take criticism much better than I used to. I still sometimes cry because it's some weird automatic reflex of mine when criticism arises - but I am stronger now. I try not to be so mean or condescending. My goals are simple and achievable.