Shaking Hands Sucks

I have always hated shaking hands since I was little. I find it intrusive. Hand touching is something you should only do if you know the person extremely well. I've also found it a symbol of intimidation. When you go on a job interview, you have to hold your ground in a handshake - it's not about being polite. It's about how firm and strong you shake, and how you guide that shake.

Yesterday, I attended a memorial for an aunt of my husband. She died last Sunday, and so we went to a park where a bunch of family gathered to say a few short words about her, and have lunch together. If you think I have a problem shaking hands, you haven't tried to hug me ... but everyone wanted to shake my hand yesterday afternoon. It drove me nuts. No one cares that maybe I don't want to shake hands. Maybe I have germs, or just maybe I have a degenerative bone disease?

I don't know how many people's hands I shook, but I felt instantly afterward a fatigue in my hand. In the past I have proffered my left hand - only to end up getting weird looks. And, how do you excuse refusing a handshake? I hate hugging, so you can understand that I didn't want to refuse a handshake because then they would hug me. I suppose I could spend my entire life hiding behind my husband, but why would I do that? If I refuse, I either have to a) explain b) get hugged. I neither situation, I am in a position I don't want to be in. In either situation, people think you're weird. I'd rather just raise my hand and say hi. Why can't that work for everyone?

If I could do away with one thing in human society, it would be the handshake.

When I woke up this morning, my hand felt like I had slept on it backwards. All from handshaking. Maybe I should walk around with a giant foam finger on my hand. That way, I wouldn't have to shake hands. And when people offered me their hand, I would refuse to take it off. And when they try to hug me, I could just hit them with foam.

Yeah.